Another Full time job?!?!

I think my biggest fear right now with having a little one, is, what will I do when it comes to my two jobs?

Growing up, my mother had two jobs as well. She cleaned houses and she raised me and my brother, Matt. I remember going with her to these cleaning jobs and helping out. She always gave us something to do. I normally dusted, Matt vacuumed. I wish those habits were ones that stuck with me! LOL.

But the best times that I remember growing up are the times at home. I remember Mom setting up my whole play-doe set on the kitchen counter. I remember all the fun craft projects we did together. I remember laying down in her bed room with her to take a nap. I remember my brother and I playing outside and running around the neighborhood.

All these wonderful memories I hold so dear, are what worry me today.

Last year, I found myself in a career. It wasn't anything I really had planned on achieving. but, none-the-less, I enjoy my job and it's a stable paycheck coming in. before I started my full time job, I was teaching part time at Butler Community College in the evenings. Hoping that my teaching job would eventually lead to a full time teaching job, I decided to keep that position along with my new full time job. So, I now find myself working a 9-5 (sometimes more) job and teaching 3 hours a week in the evenings. Which works out just fine for now.

But where will that leave us when we have a baby? What will be the best route to follow? I will be honest and say that I always dreamed of being a full time Mom. Staying home and raising my children. But, with Jonathan owning his own business, there isn't enough dollars coming in to do that. I made a pledge that I would NEVER send my kids to daycare. I've worked at a few day cares in my life and the bad taste will never leave me. I can't rely on my mother to take care of our kids while we work. What is the point in that? Although she would do it in a heart beat.

I guess the ideal situation that could happen is that I will be able to teach full time at some point which would leave me away from my kids for only 3 hours, 5 days a week. Which I would then be able to ask my Mom to cover those 3 hours. And I know they (Mom and Dad) would love that time. But, it looks as though the full time gig at the college isn't in my immediate future and we've held off this long for starting a family, how much longer would we have to wait to have an ideal situation? Probably forever.

So you, the reader, as my witness, I am completely giving this over to God today. There isn't anything I can do to change this situation. I will have faith that God knows whats best for Jonathan and I and only He can put us in the places we need to be.